I Want a Wife
by Christine Waterside
Summary: The trio is in their junior year when and essay by Jane Syfers" I want a wife" provokes some very interesting thoughts amongst our favorite characters
1. Before the Essay

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Gordo, but I don't , so I will have to look for my own...  
  
A/N: Hey I hope you guys like this, I based it on somethings we read about in english . I don't update as often as I would like but reviews do inspire me to update quicker( HINT HINT) Enjoy...  
  
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Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo were sitting in the commons are talking about what colleges there were planning on applying to ; Gordo wanted to go to NYU and major in directing, Lizzie wanted to go to Boston College to become a News anchor and Miranda was planning on going to Hollywood and become a star( she was already researching agents). It was the third quarter of their Junior year and everyone was anxious for the school year to end, something had changed and some things had stayed , and will probably always remain the same:  
  
Miranda , Gordo and Lizzie were an inseparable trio, best of friends thru thick and thin, always with one another. Lizzie and Miranda had lost their infatuation with Ethan over the years, preferring something more than superficial love. Both had learned that Ethan was the type of guy who should be a great friend, who would always lend a hand and make you feel good about yourself, but not serious relationship material. Gordo was telling the girls about something funny that had happened to Larry in AP Biology involving 4 pairs of goggles, a frog and some cheese that had the girls laughing hysterically . My goodness, Gordo thought, I have always loved her the most when she is laughing with her big smile spread across her face. Just then the bell rang, interrupting Gordo's thoughts. They all got up, hugged one another goodbye and headed of to class, Miranda off to Drama and Lizzie and Gordo off to AP English.  
  
A/N: Did you like? If so , or if not , please let me know... I always appreciate an honest review. I rated it PG-13 because of how controversial Syfers essay is ( I will post it in the next chapter), Oh, and if you are reading my other story "Learning to Live Life to the Fullest" I promise I will update soon... I am just a really slow typer...unbelievably slow...I think an elephant could type faster with its trunk shooting out peanuts to hit the keys that I could. 


	2. A chick wants a wife?

DISCLAIMED: I wish I owned Gordo , but alas I don't ( some person with big ears does) and I shall have to find my own... A/N: Thank you for the reviews...I really appreciate them...especially the honest ones. -I chose this topic because I wanted to be a bit different from all the other stories that were all about prom or graduation or Rome, but thanks for the input. I do plan on adding more dialogue but the first chapter was more to establish the mood. Thank you so much or your honest input put though, I really appreciate it and look forward to more... Here is the next Chapter: @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
"Miranda told me that Mr. Diggs is taking over for Ms. Fucile" said Lizzie. "You mean Ms. Furious Fucile might forever be gone from our lives....?......I think I might keel over with ecstasy!" replied Gordo , he has always hated Ms. "Furious Fucile" ever since she declared his opinion about feminism to be wrong. Lizzie giggled , "Don't keel over just yet, I don't know if it's permanent... I never did understand that lady though" remembering back to when Gordo had been put down by her, "I just can't figure out how an opinion can be wrong.....I mean it's an opinion!". Both Lizzie and Gordo laughed at the absurd reasoning of Ms. Fucile and walked into the class.  
  
Upon seeing Mr. Diggs Lizzie whispered , "See , I told you I was right, he is teaching" to which Gordo chuckled "I'm glad you were ...Ms Fucile was getting to my last nerve..."Mr. Diggs interrupted him shouting "OK class, sit down sit down....today we are going to read an essay by Jane Syfers about the role of married women.... please open your textbooks to page 67"  
  
Lizzie and Gordo quickly went to their seats and whipped out their books , Ethan was sitting on the other side and had a puzzled look on his face, appearing even more confused than usual. Mr Diggs noticed this and asked, " Mr. Craft, is there something I can help explain to you?" Ethan, being snapped out of the zone he was in said "Yeah, uh I thought Jane Syfers was a chick" "Yes, Mr Craft, she is a woman" "But her essay thing is called ' Why I want a wife'...why would a chick want a wife?" . Mr Diggs smiled exclaiming" Aha, it appears Mr Craft is using excellent perception" "I am ?Cool!" jutted in Ethan. "Yes Ethan you are, you discovered a sarcastic trait of the essay, in fact Syfers uses sarcasm and satire throughout her essay in order to portray her message" "To which Ethan went all confused again, but nevertheless happy at being right grunted "Cool!" and gave his trademark smile and *just pretend you did it on purpose* nod  
  
Lizzie and Gordo gave each other a "well that's Ethan for you" look and started to read the essay introduction. "All right class, your assignment is to read the essay, which is quite controversial, so ladies, please don't get offended and write an essay about it from one of the two prompts I have listed on the board" Gordo thought, after seeing noting written on the board, *maybe Ms Fucile was better, at least she didn't see figments of her imagination . Mr Diggs commented "I know just what your thinking, there are no prompts on the board right?" the whole class nodded "Wrong "he said and turned around flung up the overhead screen and there on the board were two essay prompts.  
  
#1- Write a similar essay , using the same rhetorical devices, about why you want a husband  
  
#2 Explain why this wife is actually not perfect, and describe what changes would be needed in order to be the perfect wife in your opinion.  
  
Gordo was excited because he already could write the essay with out ever reading the one by Jane Syfers... the wife isn't perfect because she's not Lizzie...he thought, but of course he would never say so. Lizzie started reading this essay and immediately began to hate the view Syfers had on married women... this is going to be one frustrating assignment ...she thought  
  
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A/N : Ok , I know I promised I would post the essay in the next chapter but it is really long and I wanted to add the characters thoughts ...so I have to put it into the next chappie...sorry. Don't hate me forever...enjoy reading and please review( HINT HINT) 


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